You Know You're From Louisville When...
- Your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states
- The in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship.
- You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes... but has no capacity to deal with any of the above.
- You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you've heard.
- You think the rest of the people in Kentucky sound like hicks.
- When you think "Kentucky" you don't automatically think horse racing or fried chicken.
- You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to "move."
- You've shovelled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week.
- When people ask what school you went to, they don't mean Vanderbilt, Yale, or Harvard; they mean Ballard, Male, Manual, Trinity or St. X.
- You know what the Bambi Walk is.
- Your last ten vacations were in Panama City or Destin.
- You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake.
- You've lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park.
- You're convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle.
- You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don't know into your lane.
- You give directions based on landmarks that no longer exist or street names that have changed, but your directions never confuse any of the other Louisvillians
- You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn't miss the Oaks.
- You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss - who also called in sick - at the next betting window.
- You think all the REAL hicks live in New Albany.
- You think the only thing Southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins.
- When introduced to another life-long Louisvillian, you spend the first part of the conversation finding out how you are connected. It's never as many as six degrees of separation - usually three will do it.
- You think a pervert is someone who would rather have sex than watch basketball.
- You've built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement.
- You can read about Rick Pitino in at least three different sections of your newspaper.
- You think the rest of the world knows what Benedictine spread is.
- You think the rest of the world knows what a Hot Brown is.
- You have never eaten fish that wasn't fried.
- You think the whole world puts spaghetti in chili.
- You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn't cut through YOUR neighborhood.
- You've experienced a "salt storm" after a two-inch snowfall.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisville.
When your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat everything you find like a nail.