Thursday, December 29, 2005

You Know You're From Louisville When...

  • Your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states
  • The in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship.
  • You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes... but has no capacity to deal with any of the above.
  • You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you've heard.
  • You think the rest of the people in Kentucky sound like hicks.
  • When you think "Kentucky" you don't automatically think horse racing or fried chicken.
  • You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to "move."
  • You've shovelled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week.
  • When people ask what school you went to, they don't mean Vanderbilt, Yale, or Harvard; they mean Ballard, Male, Manual, Trinity or St. X.
  • You know what the Bambi Walk is.
  • Your last ten vacations were in Panama City or Destin.
  • You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake.
  • You've lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park.
  • You're convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle.
  • You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don't know into your lane.
  • You give directions based on landmarks that no longer exist or street names that have changed, but your directions never confuse any of the other Louisvillians
  • You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn't miss the Oaks.
  • You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss - who also called in sick - at the next betting window.
  • You think all the REAL hicks live in New Albany.
  • You think the only thing Southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins.
  • When introduced to another life-long Louisvillian, you spend the first part of the conversation finding out how you are connected. It's never as many as six degrees of separation - usually three will do it.
  • You think a pervert is someone who would rather have sex than watch basketball.
  • You've built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement.
  • You can read about Rick Pitino in at least three different sections of your newspaper.
  • You think the rest of the world knows what Benedictine spread is.
  • You think the rest of the world knows what a Hot Brown is.
  • You have never eaten fish that wasn't fried.
  • You think the whole world puts spaghetti in chili.
  • You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn't cut through YOUR neighborhood.
  • You've experienced a "salt storm" after a two-inch snowfall.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisville.

Found here

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When your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat everything you find like a nail.

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